Premature Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation: Understanding & Overcoming PE Together

Written by: Brian A



Time to read: 6 min

Key Takeaways:

Understanding PE Types: Learn about the different types of premature ejaculation, including lifelong and acquired PE, and how they can impact relationships and sexual satisfaction.

Effective Strategies: Discover practical techniques such as the start-stop method, squeeze technique, and pelvic floor exercises to help manage and potentially overcome PE, fostering a more fulfilling sexual experience.

Enhancing Relationship Dynamics: Communication and mutual support are crucial in addressing PE as a couple. Explore ways to maintain intimacy and strengthen your bond while working through this common issue.

Causes, Tips, & Solutions for Premature Ejaculation in Couples

According to the National Institutes for Health (NIH), premature ejaculation (PE) impacts between 20% and 30% of sexually active men. That’s a pretty significant number, and the consequences can be traumatic as PE often leads to performance anxiety issues and low self-esteem, both of which can wreak havoc on a sex life and adversely affect a man’s quality of life. In this post, we’ll look at premature ejaculation and offer some tips on working through it together.

What is Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation, or PE, is technically defined as an ejaculation that occurs sooner than a male or his partner would like during sex. This, however, is usually specified to be less than 2 to 3 minutes after intercourse has commenced. PE can be a frustrating experience for both the sufferer and the partner, leading to a decreased desire for sexual activity and other relationship woes. According to the American Urological Society, premature ejaculation is the most common type of sexual dysfunction among males. Up to 40% of men will experience premature ejaculation at some point in their life. So, if you suffer from PE, take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

diagram of male reproductive system

Four Types of Premature Ejaculation

Believe it or not, there are four different types of premature ejaculation that a male can experience. They are:

Lifelong PE

This is when a male experiences a premature climax during nearly all sexual encounters.

Acquired PE

This is a new onset of premature ejaculation that usually has an identifiable cause, such as sexual performance anxiety (SPA).

Natural Variable PE

This is the one most males will experience at some point. It is the outlier occurrence of premature ejaculation.

Subjective PE

This may sound a little bit weird, but subjective PE is not a form of premature ejaculation. Instead, it is when a male who lasts an average amount of time or longer perceives he has experienced PE.

For this post, we’ll focus on the first two forms, Lifelong and Acquired PE, as these are the forms that become problematic for relationships and sex lives.

How to Deal with PE in a Relationship – 7 Tips

Premature ejaculation is something you can work through, but you’ll be far more successful if you do it together. The first step is to have an open and honest conversation about the problem. You might even set a goal as to how long you’d eventually like sex to last. There are also some ways to keep your sex zesty even as you work through PE issues. Here are a few tips worth considering:

  1. Non-intercourse pleasure

Sex isn’t just about the penis entering the vagina. Some of the most erotic pleasure can be derived from other sorts of play. Drive your partner wild with more extended periods of intense oral sex. Try sex toys or flavored lube that can open up a whole new landscape of sexual excitement. Watching your partner masturbate can also be a dirty little secret that’s a big turn-on for both of you. We’re not suggesting you ignore a problem with PE, but instead, find alternative ways to explore and please each other until you’ve seen an answer.

  1. The squeeze technique

This is a technique used to delay the male orgasm. Just as you are about to climax, you or your partner will gently squeeze the head of the penis. This can stop the ejaculation process while keeping the penis hard for further penetration.

  1. The start-stop method

This is another method to delay ejaculation and maintain the erection, hopefully. During sex, as soon as you feel like you are about to cum, stop cold. Don’t move. Don’t pump. Essentially, you want to freeze. The urge to ejaculate should dissipate. When it does, resume intercourse and repeat this technique for as long as you can hold out.

  1. Kegel Exercises

No, they’re not just for females. Males can use Kegels to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. Weak pelvic muscles can make it harder to delay ejaculation, so by strengthening them, you’re giving yourself an added edge. How do you do it?

Kegel Exercise

  1. First, find your pelvic floor muscles, which is easy. The next time you urinate, stop your flow midstream. That’s using your pelvic floor muscles. Or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. This also requires using your pelvic floor muscles.
  1. Now that you know what to do, lie down and tighten your pelvic floor muscles for three seconds. Take a short break and repeat. Try to do at least three sets of 10 reps per day.
  1. As you become more adept, you can do these exercises in your office chair or standing.
  1. Masturbation Before Sex

Masturbating a few hours before sexual intercourse can lessen the nerve sensation in the penis, which can help you last longer. However, be sure to give yourself enough time to bounce back, as men have a more extended refractory period than women.

  1. Condoms

Using condoms can also make the penis less sensitive, which can delay ejaculation. Some “climax control” condoms on the market contain numbing agents to desensitize the penis and allow for added control and lengthier sessions.

  1. Male Enhancement Supplements

There is also a new generation of male enhancement products on the market that have been developed to assist males suffering from both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. These conditions are often rooted in sexual performance anxiety, and many men claim today’s top male enhancement supplements provide them with harder, longer-lasting erections that add up to more confidence in the bedroom.


Premature ejaculation can lead to severe problems in a relationship, including feeling disconnected, frustrated, and even irrationally angry with each other. But there are ways through PE, and rest assured, you’re not the only couple facing the problem. PE is the most common form of sexual dysfunction reported by males, and it’s most often one rooted in sexual performance anxiety. If you or your partner are experiencing PE, try the above methods. It just might reignite a lasting passion in you both.

FAQs on Premature Ejaculation

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation (PE) is when a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like during sexual activity. It's usually defined as ejaculating within one minute of penetration or before the man wants to.

What causes premature ejaculation?

PE can have several causes, including:

  • Psychological Factors: Stress, anxiety (especially sexual performance anxiety), depression, and relationship issues.
  • Biological Factors: Hormonal imbalances, abnormal neurotransmitter levels, and genetic predisposition.
  • Health Conditions: Prostatitis, other infections, thyroid problems, or erectile dysfunction (ED).

How common is premature ejaculation?

PE is the most common sexual dysfunction in men, affecting up to 30% of men at some point in their lives.

What are the different types of premature ejaculation?

  • Lifelong PE: Starts early in sexual life and persists.
  • Acquired PE: Develops later and often has an identifiable cause.
  • Natural Variable PE: Occurs sporadically.
  • Subjective PE: When a man perceives he ejaculates prematurely despite a normal duration.

How can I tell if I have premature ejaculation?

If you frequently ejaculate within 2-3 minutes of penetration and it causes distress or difficulty in your sexual relationships, you might have PE. Consult a healthcare provider for a definitive diagnosis.

Can premature ejaculation be cured?

While there might not be a permanent cure, PE can often be managed effectively through behavioral techniques, counseling, medication, or a combination of these methods.

What treatments are available for premature ejaculation?

Common treatments include:

  • Behavioral Techniques: Start-stop method, squeeze technique.
  • Therapy: Counseling or sex therapy.
  • Medications: Topical anesthetics, SSRIs (antidepressants), and PDE5 inhibitors (for ED).
  • Pelvic Floor Exercises: Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic muscles.

Are there any over-the-counter solutions for premature ejaculation?

Over-the-counter products like desensitizing creams, sprays, or special condoms designed to reduce sensitivity can provide temporary relief for some men.

Is premature ejaculation related to erectile dysfunction?

Yes, there can be a connection. Some men with PE also experience erectile dysfunction, and managing one condition can sometimes improve the other.

Does masturbation before sex help with premature ejaculation?

Masturbating a few hours before intercourse can reduce sensitivity and delay ejaculation for some men. However, results may vary, and the results might not be effective for everyone.

Do you have any helpful insight or personal experiences you’d like to share regarding PE? Please share in the comment section below. Thank you.

Bonertown is committed to providing honest information and great products for both men and women to improve sexual function and optimize sex lives.

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